Queers of the Desert


Being in Alice:

A Personal Perspective


Foreword

I often wondered if I would ever get around to writing some of my story since I came to live here in Alice Springs. Buoyed by the success of the Queers of the Desert I guess now is the time to put down for posterity, or pure indulgence, some fond memories of my time here - the people, the magic of the country and the essential spirit of the land that has left such an indelible impression and impact on my entire life. No matter how much longer I have left to live; being now in my 51st year, there is nothing that could ever come more close to heaven for me than this place.

I can't begin to express the joys that living here has brought me - the adventures, the experience, the wonderful memories and the fantastic opportunities that Alice has provided for me. She has opened many doors, presented me with a few obstacles, supported my dreams and created a brilliant reality that I will cherish all the days of my life.

The following are just a few excerpts of this most wonderful journey. 

 


In the Beginning

Born on Saturday 28 August, 1954 around 6pm in Stanmore (Sydney), I was raised and lived much of my life in Sydney prior to moving here. I first lived in Marrickville at my grandmother's home then moved to Western Sydney around the age of five where I started school in 1960 (Lalor Park Public) and completed high school (Seven Hills High) in 1972. In my last 2 years of high school my family left Lalor Park and moved to Wentworthville. I had 12 months off between school and teachers' college in 1973, working as a circulation assistant with Cumberland Newspapers in Parramatta. I completed my teacher education training at Nepean CAE in Westmead, during which time I began my first gay relationship in 1976 with Allan that survived 11 years We married in 1978 in a private ceremony attended by some family and friends at our home in Ashfield.

I began teaching in 1977 at Yennora Public School. In 1979 I transferred to Yagoona Public as a district relief teacher, so that I could spend more of my time over the next 5 years completing my undergraduate degree externally through the University of New England. I was selected for school counsellor training in 1983 and undertook a Master's degree in psychology (sponsored by the NSW Education Department) at Macquarie University and graduated in 1988. I worked as a counsellor at Whalan High and Canterbury Boys High until I resigned from the NSW Education Department in 1990, prior to heading off to the Gay Games in Vancouver. In combination, I also taught English to adult migrants in Campsie, Dulwich Hill and Cabramatta part-time over a period of 13 years.

A couple of years before I arrived the sudden and unexpected death of my father; John, in 1991 had a rather significant impact on my world. I was feeling somewhat rudderless and, after leaving a job I travelled overseas for 2 months essentially to attend an AIDS Conference in Berlin, but included travelling via South Africa to visit with my friend Simon and explore some parts of Europe out of Berlin. Part of that trip saw me linked up with two other psychologists who had started gay psychologist groups; one in the USA and one in Europe. Jan (John) Schippers (Amsterdam, NL), Dr. Catherine Acuff (Boston, USA) and I were driving from Amsterdam to Berlin to attend the conference. They had each successfully created gay & lesbian psychologist groups within their relative jurisdictions. From the front seat, they both turned around to me and suggested that I might establish one in Australia - and so I did in time.

Upon returning to Sydney I needed to get a job, mostly to pay for the trip I'd just been on. I grabbed a copy of the Sydney Star Observer, found a position with the AIDS Council in Alice Springs and applied successfully. I left my home in the very capable hands of my sister Jenny and her boyfriend Darren with a one way ticket supplied by the AIDS Council. And so this remarkable journey began. The plan in my mind was to come for a period of up to two years. If I didn't like it here, I could always jump a plane and head back home to Sydney. As time has proven, that didn't happen.

 


It all began with love

Day 1: Thursday August 26, 1993

I arrived on board a Qantas flight around 11am to be warmly greeted by Sue who was then President of the AIDS Council of Central Australia (ACOCA) and her girlfriend at the time; Lyndalee. We shared a drink in the bar while waiting for my luggage to arrive from the carousel. Sue and Lyndalee drove me to their house in Bacon Street to what would be my home for the next five years. Lyndalee lived at what was affectionately termed 'Piggy Street' sharing at the time with Janine (Neen) and Cheryl (who was pre-lesbian and subsequently post lesbian - she just forgot to be lesbian in between). After moving into the granny flat that Cheryl was using as her sewing room, I was invited to become a 'Piggy' for as long as I wished. I was taken into town, looked around a bit, picked up my push-bike that I bought from my predecessor, Christopher, and cruised around the town.

It was very nearly my last day in Alice (and on Earth) when I had my first encounter with a road train while riding the bike down the Stuart Highway. Jammed between the curb-side and a 16 wheel vehicle was very scary for what was only a minute but seemed like an eternity, and I really thought 'this is it'. I got lost on the way back home to Piggy Street but finally made it through the maze of Gillen streets.
 

Day 2: Friday August 27

I spent some time at the new job being orientated by my new co-workers; Di and Tony, who both introduced me to Swinger's Cafe on Gregory Terrace - the place to be seen back in those days. I visited Tony the ACOCA co-ordinator with 'outreach' Tony and we talked about my new role, then went over to 'outreach' Tony's for a while in the afternoon. He was the one who told me that in Alice I would have to 'face my daemons' and that she brings people here to help them work stuff out. Back home to Piggy Street in the evening for a most fantastic Asian meal lovingly prepared by Neen, Cheryl and others. Dinner guests that night included Philip and Michelle. Cheryl made me a chocolate cake for dessert because it was going to be my birthday the next day. She and Neen came out to the granny flat at midnight with the cake ablaze with candles; to wake me up, because I'd passed out already.
 

Day 3: Saturday 28th August

Happy 39th birthday! I had breakfast at Swinger's Cafe and then off to watch Neen play in the netball final. After the game we went to the Oasis Hotel which was a favourite of the local gay and lesbian fraternity in those days. We had a few drinks, played some pool and then I was taken to Undoolya Hill for the first sunset viewing over Alice. I have photos of that afternoon which are still very special. The it was back to Piggy Street for another birthday dinner and a great night.
 

Day 4: Sunday 29th August

Recovery! I made a phone call to Mum back in Sydney to assure her that I was just fine and all was working out well. I was making new connections all the time and being made feel most welcome.
 

Day 5: Monday 30th August

My first official day at ACOCA. I met Paola and Jana who along with Tony and Di helped to explain some of how the place operated. I began learning how to use a computer from them. Apart from writing my Master's thesis it was not anything I'd had much experience with in my previous roles, so it was to become a real learning curve.
 

Day 6: Tuesday 31st August

My second day at ACOCA brought with it a phone call from Graham, who was one of the leading lights in the local gay scene, inviting me to Tuesday night drinks at his place to meet some of the local gay men. I accepted the invitation and after dinner at home that night, including a shared smoke and a bottle of red with some of the household, was dropped of in Hong Street to meet the crew. I was quite nervous and as I walked in the back door, I was introduced to about 15 local gay men sitting in Graham's lounge room. The group included Graham, John, Robin, Selby (Warwick was at work that night), Phil & Steve, Chris, Stephen and Philip. I was so nervous, I drank my bottle of wine rather quickly with predictable results. Graham had given me one of his mother's cut crystal glasses to drink from when I first arrived but quickly retrieved it once I started on the port to finish! Stephen offered to drive me home afterwards which I accepted except that I couldn't remember how to get there and we drove around the Gillen maze for a while until I stumbled upon the house. I rang Graham the following day to apologise for my errant behaviour. Fortunately he forgave me and we have become firm friends over time. He and Robin, with whom I also built a very strong association and friendship, were individually and collectively very influential in my life that was to unfold.
 

Day 7 - Wednesday 1st September

The ACOCA office was closed today so I went about setting up my part-time private practice; getting ready for my first client the following week. I had to register as a psychologist in the NT first and seek out a practice space away from home. Vicki at Diarama Village gave me my first opportunity to go into business and we set up to start from there about a month later. All these wonderful opportunities and people were part of the first week here and I was keen to see what else would unfold. I was very fortunate.

You may well wonder how I can remember all that off the top of my head. I suppose it's because it was so special. I was made feel welcome from the moment I touched the ground. The overwhelming feeling of love and support was very apparent. It was the first week that made it for me here in the Alice.

 


From those first days forward.

The story continues to grow positively and develop beyond expectations since that first week. I saw the Todd flow three times in the first three months of being here and was told the 'see the Todd flow three times' story. So the fact that it happened within the first three months of me being here was quite phenomenal. I travelled to Darwin with Sue, Lyndalee and their friend that November to see a Tina Turner concert and be introduced to Darwin. Just prior to that Christmas, Cheryl and I drove out to Hermannsburg where I played Santa to a bunch of kids from Kulpitarra community. That was a very special experience and an honour to be asked to be involved.

I went back to Sydney that Christmas deciding that I had found a new home here in Alice. I had a load of my possessions trucked back up and left the house in Erskineville to a renter. Jenny and Darren were moving to Gladesville. As it turned out, I never stayed or lived in the house again. I came back to Alice filled with enthusiasm and conviction. Mum came up to visit in the May and we drove to Ayers Rock; the first time for both of us, and saw in raining on the rock the afternoon we arrived - another special and significant experience that Mum and I enjoyed together.

 


Then

I continued working at ACOCA through 1994 during which I was appointed as a Board member to the NT Psychologists Registration Board; one which was to run for the full six years. I worked for Central Australian Aboriginal Congress in November 1994 when John and I put together the first Aboriginal Gay Men and Transgender Sexual Health Conference held at Hamilton Downs. We sourced money through government grants to host the conference which was an outstanding success.Anwernekenhesubsequently held another two such meetings and have just held a 10th anniversary celebration. The conference was a long-held dream of John's and I was delighted that his dream had come true before his life ended tragically in 1995.

Internal politics combined with a clash of personality issues drove me to leave ACOCA in late November 1994 to join the Community Mental Health Team. The salary more than doubled ACOCA's and I was far more content from a working perspective. I worked day and afternoon shifts and was often on call over the next five years. There's nothing like sleeping with a pager! That experience was very fulfilling under the guidance of the manager, Vicki. She left in 1996 but came back after 3 years away in NSW and I stayed with the team until 2000 when I joined the Education Department to cover for a colleague on 12 months leave.

Under the auspices & support of the Australian Psychological Society (APS), the Gay & Lesbian Issues and Psychology Special Interest Group was born from Central Australia within the first couple of years of my being there. A series of letters sent via snail mail were sent to all the gay/lesbian psychologists I could find in the national gay papers to glean an impression of whether others would support such a venture. The group continues to operate under the leadership of Dr Damien Rigg in Adelaide with a healthy membership in excess of 120 active members. It now enjoys an international recognition with some of the members attending overseas symposiums etc (as I did in San Francisco August 2001). Alice Springs certainly allows people 'permission' to create new enterprises and explore adventures where they didn't previously exist. On ya, Alice!!!

I never returned to Mental Health on a permanent basis after 2000, opting instead to begin a career in private practice as a psychologist. It meant that I could be more flexible with my dual careers as both a practitioner and tourism operator. I began full-time private practice working at St Philip's College in 2001 as their first psychologist/counsellor, gradually building a presence from one to four days per week.

Phil & Kalika
Phil & Kalika
© Rainbow Connection:
used with permission.

 

I now have a business day on Wednesdays to 'play' in tourism and get lots of business things done. Building the Rainbow Connection as the first established gay and lesbian bed and breakfast requires a good deal of business time and along with my good friend and business partner in Alice IS Wonderland; Kalika, we spend time dreaming up new events and promoting Alice to the gay and lesbian communities globally. Whilever it all stays fun, I'll continue.

 

In early 1999 I sold my Erskineville property in Sydney, retaining Robin Street South Golden Beach near Byron Bay as an investment, to purchase the Raggatt Street properties here in Alice. I moved into 22 Raggatt Street on Friday 29th January and purchased number 24 at auction the next day for $121,000. It was a very busy 48 hours! The Rainbow Connection dream began establishing over the next 18 months. My first renters at 24 were Cain and Paola for a short time followed by Andrew and Matthew who lived there for about 18 months. They were soon followed by Anthony, Tim, Clinton and Alex who all shared together for a while before Alex and Clinton moved on to live in Sydney. Tim and Anthony remained for an extended period before Tim moved to Sydney to be with his new partner, David. Anthony and Darren moved into their own place on the north side of town and moved in the day before Brett and David arrived in town to live. Those boys lived on the 'Estate' for just on 2 years before heading off to Brisbane. The property has now become a gay guest retreat and forms part of the short term rental accommodation.

Sexual partners were a casual affair for many of the years I was here. They were certainly not a priority. Surprisingly, one day the universe took over and presented me with an angel to begin a brand new year.

Glenn came into my life on New Years' Eve 2000. We were both at Kalika and Linda's party. He would come to events at my place over the next few months and was very supportive during the Alice IS Wonderlandhysteria that emerged for 10 weeks in the local newspaper from February 16th through until April of 2001. We remained acquaintances and developed a growing friendship up until 13th July that year when we took our association several steps forward. He continues to be a very special part of how the Rainbow Connection develops and is truly my angel in life and love. He is a remarkably affable young man who is very devoted and loving. I'm so glad to have him in my world for as long as he chooses to be here.

Last year I celebrated my Decade Of Alice in August; a celebration of my time here and some of the events that took place over that time. It was a fantastic celebration with my Mum, brother Andrew, sister Jenny and Andrew's girlfriend (soon-to-be wife) Pat coming up to join in the party. My eldest sister Stephanie was unable to travel. We had over 100 guests who came and played on the 'Gay Boyz Estate'. There was much to celebrate and much celebration was done! My friend Rose once said to me that Alice is where one learns how to become a human being rather than a human doing. She's so right! Phil and Rose
Rose & Phil
© Rose Conolly: used with permission.

 


And now...

However, whenever and why ever this journey ceases to be is yet to be known. I drink and smoke too much, and that clearly doesn't help or improve longevity aspects. For anyone who ever gets to read this, just know that it is the quality of my life that I love rather than the quantity. I've been blessed and graced with a life that places me within the top 5% of beings on the planet. We are all here for a limited time but I believe that there is a legacy that we are each able to leave behind us when the party's over. Alice Springs has allowed mine to be filled with loads of love, fantastic adventures and a wealth of friendships. To all of my Alice family including Alexander, Annie, Ashley and Claire along with so many people I've met and loved as friends, a very special thank you for all that you've given me and all that I've become because of you. If I attempted to name everyone who has come into my life for whatever reason over the period, I would invariably leave out some names - compromised memory and several hundred chardonnays later. So it's best not to try. You all know who you are!
  
Phil Walcott

 

 


Tell me more!